Modern Financial Glossary :))

CEO – Chief Embezzlement Officer

CFO – Corporate Fraud Officer

BULL MARKET – A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius

BEAR MARKET – A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex

VALUE INVESTING – The art of buying low and selling lower

P/E RATIO – The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing =))

BROKER – What my broker has made me

STANDARD & POOR – Your life in a nutshell

STOCK ANALYST – Idiot who just downgraded your stock

STOCK SPLIT – When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves

FINANCIAL PLANNER – A guy whose phone has been disconnected

MARKET CORRECTION – The day after you buy stocks

CASH FLOW – The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet

YAHOO!  – What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share

WINDOWS – What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo! @ $240 per share

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR – Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse

PROFIT – An archaic word no longer in use

Thửa từ đây.


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